This is a two-part posting to our blog, wherein Yin Mama and Yang Mommy dream about trading their Jimmy Choos---until the other shoe drops!
YIN:
I never get a moment to myself. I'm either at work having to talk to others or I'm at home with my family. I keep saying that I'm going to get a hotel room by myself one night but so far I haven't.
So I keep daydreaming about how much free time I'd have if I were a stay at home mom (SAHM). And here's what I'd do:
--Take naps! When my daughter is taking her afternoon nap I'd recharge myself and take one too.
--Do laundry. I never get a chance to do my own laundry. My husband does his own and when I do have time I do my daughter's. So I'd wash my laundry and never run out of underwear again.
--Cook more and experiment in my cooking. Right now I get off work, pick up my daughter from daycare and come home and cook dinner. Kind if. It's hardly ever what I'd call a well rounded meal but most days I prepare a meal or my husband grills something for us. If I were a SAHM I could really get back into cooking and experiment a little more.
--Join a Mommy/Baby Group. Honestly this one doesn't sound like a ton of fun but I'd do it so I could meet more women with children the general age of my own.
--Relax. My job entails working a lot with the public and sometimes it can be stressful. Even though being with my daughter can be stressful it's no where near like dealing with an irate person who didn't get what they want.
--Take my hobbies back up. I realized today I haven't sewn anything since I got pregnant because I took my sewing machine down to set up a baby room. So I'd make an effort to start sewing, finish that latch hook that I started for my daughter's room and a few other things I've put aside.
That's my idea of what it would be like to not have to work outside the home. So all you SAHM's savor what you have and enjoy la dolce vita ; )
YANG:
Boy, I had to laugh when I read Yin's visions of what life as a SAHM would be! After I had a good, hearty chuckle, it occurred to me that long ago, I had different ideas about what staying at home with a child would be like, so I really can't blame Yin for her fantasies. But let's take off those rosey-colored glasses and face the hard facts.
---Take naps when the baby naps? Hardly! Those are the times when I get the laundry done, or clean the house, or better still, work. Just try to meet a work deadline with a wee one tugging your hand off the keyboard to get her a snack/ a drink/have a nose wiped/flash that enchanting smile so you'll play with her. No, no, nap time is for work, not sleeping.
--Laundry (house chores in general): See above.
--Cooking more/Experimenting with food: Ah, a genie would say "your wish is my command!" Because by default, a lot of SAHP do cook more. They're home, they have little mouths to feed around the clock. Yes, I'm totally in love with my new non-stick Ramsay skillet, but more often than not, the inner Julia doesn't show up until the weekend when my husband can play at length with our daughter and I'm not so already exhausted from my own work day.
---Join Mommy groups: I have to say, I absolutely love the fact that I can go to mom-centered activities during the day and not have to wait until after 5P or the weekends. That is one freedom of being a SAHM that I take advantage of whenever I can. Plus I've made some excellent friends in the process.
---Relaxing: If I'm really, really lucky I get to relax when my girl naps, but see above. Toddlers aren't the most cooperative beings on the planet ("wait until she's a teen," my dark side mutters). Otherwise, relaxing at any decent length of time comes after she's in bed. A glass of cab and I'm a happy Yang.
---Hobbies: Well, what parent of a young child(ren) really has time for hobbies? I got a great sewing machine for Christmas and have yet had time to even read the manual (a strict rule I'm adhering to lest I break the machine on my first go. Not to mention it rather intimidates me, too). Some of my hobbies I can follow through on though, like this blog or taking nature walks, wherein my girl comes along with me. But again, finding quality time for hobbies is like making a patchwork quilt--it's in segments.
As a SAHM, who also works from home, I'm not only my daughter's #1 playmate, but also her cook, maid, nurse and general all-around cheerleader. And when one of us, or worse yet both of us, are sick, the work only gets harder.We're blessed to be able to do this and I wouldn't change our situation overly much. But I too would like some relaxation time--like an hour's long bubble bath and a good book to stick my nose in. The caveat being not to have to then cook dinner/clean up toys/wash the dishes afterwards, etc. So next time I get a few precious minutes, I'm going to dream about going back to work in an office and having adult conversations...getting real vacation days...heck, getting paid for what I do...ahhhh.....
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
Is It Time for Another Baby?
YANG
Over the past few days, I have literally staggered in my steps over various news pieces. The first was a news story on NYC preschools offering "scholarships" for 3 and 4 year olds to attend their school (because they're far too expensive in the first place and have some nerve charging what amounts to some colleges' tuition fees!). Let alone the grueling and down right ridiculous "admission" process or trying to just get an application! The other story was on the latest figures of the cost of rearing children in America. The study says that the average cost to raise 1 child through high school will be around $220,000. What the?!? Add to that, our global economy isn't exactly in the best of health which means both our national and local economies are hurting.
Despite the economic woes and challenges, we would still like another child.
Now the logical side of my brain (my husband will laugh at that statement) screams, "You have so much work to do now, how can you possibly handle two little ones!" For instance, it just took me 20 minutes to prepare my toddler's clothes for the laundry (stain stick, bless you!). Not to mention that I just finished cleaning up the breakfast dishes and in just a few I'll need to prepare lunch. Add on to that the fact that I work from home (a blog topic for another day), so I need to make the most of the "free time" I have to do my writing. Yang Mommy-time can be nearly nonexistent. So why would I want to add another little one into our current chaos?
Because I do. My husband and I both want another child. There's so much love to give and receive, we have to try for it.
Even on my most desperately-hair-pulling-PMSing-exhausting days, I still would like to have another child. Despite the lack of sleep for about least a year a new baby guarantees to bring, despite the added work in the kitchen/laundry room/house, despite the added finances, we want another little child.
My husband and I have discussed all the pros and cons and are not entering into this lightly. No one should enter into a decision to have a child lightly, in fact. And if we're blessed with another child of our own, we'll be so very fortunate. If not, then we'll take it from there. And since the bio clock is ticking, I'd better make the most of it ;)
PS Kudos to you moms and dads out there with more than 1 kid! If you have any sanity-tips, please pass them on!
YIN
I think it's easier for families with one working parent to consider having a second or third child than it is for families that have two parents working outside the home. That's because of the cost of daycare.
My husband and I would love to have another child. If we do it will cost us $300 a week to put both children in daycare. That's $1200 a month for child care. Which as of today we couldn't afford. I make more money than my husband so I couldn't stay home. Plus I enjoy working outside the home. And while my husband could leave his job, not only would we sorely miss his salary, I don't think he'd be happy. And that's not fair to him.
I think all children should have a brother or sister to argue with. And I'd enjoy having a second child in the house. But we need to keep the child we have healthy and secure. So I leave it in God's hands to see if we have another little one. Either way I'm thankful for what He's provided for us and has in stored for us for the future.
Over the past few days, I have literally staggered in my steps over various news pieces. The first was a news story on NYC preschools offering "scholarships" for 3 and 4 year olds to attend their school (because they're far too expensive in the first place and have some nerve charging what amounts to some colleges' tuition fees!). Let alone the grueling and down right ridiculous "admission" process or trying to just get an application! The other story was on the latest figures of the cost of rearing children in America. The study says that the average cost to raise 1 child through high school will be around $220,000. What the?!? Add to that, our global economy isn't exactly in the best of health which means both our national and local economies are hurting.
Despite the economic woes and challenges, we would still like another child.
Now the logical side of my brain (my husband will laugh at that statement) screams, "You have so much work to do now, how can you possibly handle two little ones!" For instance, it just took me 20 minutes to prepare my toddler's clothes for the laundry (stain stick, bless you!). Not to mention that I just finished cleaning up the breakfast dishes and in just a few I'll need to prepare lunch. Add on to that the fact that I work from home (a blog topic for another day), so I need to make the most of the "free time" I have to do my writing. Yang Mommy-time can be nearly nonexistent. So why would I want to add another little one into our current chaos?
Because I do. My husband and I both want another child. There's so much love to give and receive, we have to try for it.
Even on my most desperately-hair-pulling-PMSing-exhausting days, I still would like to have another child. Despite the lack of sleep for about least a year a new baby guarantees to bring, despite the added work in the kitchen/laundry room/house, despite the added finances, we want another little child.
My husband and I have discussed all the pros and cons and are not entering into this lightly. No one should enter into a decision to have a child lightly, in fact. And if we're blessed with another child of our own, we'll be so very fortunate. If not, then we'll take it from there. And since the bio clock is ticking, I'd better make the most of it ;)
PS Kudos to you moms and dads out there with more than 1 kid! If you have any sanity-tips, please pass them on!
YIN
I think it's easier for families with one working parent to consider having a second or third child than it is for families that have two parents working outside the home. That's because of the cost of daycare.
My husband and I would love to have another child. If we do it will cost us $300 a week to put both children in daycare. That's $1200 a month for child care. Which as of today we couldn't afford. I make more money than my husband so I couldn't stay home. Plus I enjoy working outside the home. And while my husband could leave his job, not only would we sorely miss his salary, I don't think he'd be happy. And that's not fair to him.
I think all children should have a brother or sister to argue with. And I'd enjoy having a second child in the house. But we need to keep the child we have healthy and secure. So I leave it in God's hands to see if we have another little one. Either way I'm thankful for what He's provided for us and has in stored for us for the future.
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